enjoying this web journal experience much more already than social media. don't know why it took me so long to think to do this! i feel a lot less nervous about making posts and a lot more relaxed and free to do what i want with my own internet space. sure it's a little more maintenance but i knew it was going to be, and the benefits are massive.
typing into a blank text file still feels most "natural" to me for online journaling, i guess, so i'm trying again to type posts out as plain text then paste and add formatting afterwards. that part always felt a little weird but again, worth. the last online journaling experience i enjoyed was livejournal back in, what, 2003? i've hated everything else since besides maybe mastodon, and even then you can just look at and like or reply to peoples' content with an account, no need to use it for posting. i just use even mastodon for art anyway.
for how happy i am so far with this journaling experience, the rest of my life remains hideously saturated with crushing levels of anxiety. i'd rather not go into more detail on something ultimately public and viewable by anyone who comes to my site, and the intensely depressing things i've dealt with have been a constant bombardment since childhood up to now that has left me extremely little room for actual recovery. but i mean, what can you do? all of it is things i have no control over and couldn't control even if i tried. i'm used to it at this point anyway, but that doesn't make it sometimes too much to deal with... oh well.
it's troubling but not worth worrying over, i guess. i'm still here, and i'm probably going to still be here unless more things outside my control change that.
maybe next i'll format a post tags section. not sure if i'll ever know enough javascript to make the tagging do anything besides provide post context, but one can always hope.