silver's garden of dreams...

yes. :)

i sometimes use the neocities editor as well because the syntax highlighting is nice, but all my websites and complete layout re-do's begin life as an entirely blank notepad file and at this point i'm very used to reading my own wretched blocks of hell code with notepad's complete lack of syntax highlighting.

it was actually local graffiti art done on the back of a laundromat i thought was funny and took a picture of.
sadly the graffiti didn't last long and got painted over pretty quickly, but thankfully it has been immortalized on my site forever.

here's a bunch of my favorite things! guaranteed to contain at least some amount of completely useless information you didn't care to know about me at all!

• colors: black, blue, silver (obviously). iridescent, transparent, and rainbow as well if we're counting those too lmao
• video game: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky
• book: the Last Unicorn (seriously. it is the best book i've ever read and Peter S. Beagle is an absolutely masterful writer... don't even talk to me about books if you don't want me hassling you at least a LITTLE to read this lmao)
• sports: equestrian things of all kinds, archery, falconry
• pets: gerbils, and just rodents in general. i'm also very fond of cats and horses too, though
• flower: i'm a basic bitch and love roses the most... both because they're pretty and smell super nice, but also have personal significance
• condiments: anything spicy, honey mustard, cajun seasoning, eel sauce
• pokémon: you can find that on my web graphics page!
• dinosaur: ankylosaurus! also all the -ceratops varieties
• pizza topping: anchovies lmao. ... no seriously. i fuckign love anchovies
• cheap-ass dollar store ramen flavor: creamy chicken... or roast chicken. delicious. decadent. food of the gods.
• tea: black chai
• bubble tea: ... also black chai. but taro, and rose as well!
• sushi roll: anything with eel and avocado. roe is also a plus!
• coffee: decaf light roasts with plenty of milk and sweetener (i have the tannin taste receptor so coffee tastes like bitter ass without milk and sweeteener, don't @ me)

hell yeah i love watching streams!! mostly video games, though there's a few people whose art streams i like as well.
what games? well, here's a handy list! if you like to stream any of these things, let me know and i'm bound to show up sooner or later!
this list isn't exhaustive, as my memory is very bad so sometimes i forget about a game i like if i haven't seen it in a while.

willingly own any device made by Apple.

Leafeon. without question. my pokésona was actually a leafeon for a while before espurr and meowstic were released...

well, if i only get to pick one... it'd be trying to permanently turn all of humanity into gerbils. because gerbils are superior to humans in every single way, obviously.

i decided to take it down, though ironically not because of any bigots... outside the community.
as much as i find irl queer spaces to be uplifting and give me life, i am absolutely fucking done with the nitpicking, gatekeeping, identity policing, infighting, and general intra-community bigotry i find in online queer spaces. truthfully, i've been waffling on whether i wanted to even take that page down for a while now, partially to not give any of these assholes any more information about me than necessary to use as ammo against me, and also i'm still just a really private person online and was feeling like that page maybe shared too much anwyay.

so at this point as far as anyone online is concerned, you only get to know me as: a Transgender with a Fucky Gender Outside the Binary, a Queer, and a Known Freak. if you wanna know anything else about me, the answer is: no

jokes about me being a cat furry aside, i have suffered a LOT of dog attacks over the years, especially as i've had to spend a lot of time as a pedestrian now. every. single. one. of these was completely unprovoked by me and happened on a public sidewalk, so i hadn't strayed onto anyone's property. two different times with two different dogs they wrangled out of their leash, ran up to me, and tried multiple times to bite me! in a very aggressive, decidedly not-playing kind of way!
this combined with the massive amount of people i've witnessed, and sometimes personally experienced, who will defend the Poor Pweshus Innocent Doggos against the Mean Horrible People who were mauled or killed unprovoked, has really just soured me to dogs as a whole. and i did used to like them! not as much as cats but nearly all of my life has been spent liking dogs and being happy to see one walking towards me on the sidewalk, but no more. dogs and their shitty owners are what have ruined dogs for me.

as if that wasn't enough, i'm also mildly allergic to dogs and they also greatly aggravate my sensory disorder. (sorry dog people, but the sound of dog barking, the smell of dog fur, and the feeling of a dog's tongue licking you are three of the absolute worst sensory experiences ever. i've tolerated it in the past to be polite and because i did used to like dogs otherwise, but that didn't make the sensory hell any more bearable and it's certainly less worth it now that i don't even care for dogs anymore. no fuckin' thanks.)

i do still like fictional dogs, canine fursonas, and friends' dogs that have already established themselves not to be unprovoked biters and aren't loud, smelly, or prone to licking me a lot, but at this point i'm just tired of real dogs and am not willing to risk it anymore. dogs i see being walked on the same sidewalk as me i give a wide berth and keep an eye on them so i know where they are, and i'm honestly just fed up with hearing about dogs and people praising them as "man's best friend" and the "best pet" after how many undeserved dog attacks i've experienced. dogs aren't even close to as great as people claim they are, and no meeting your dog will not "change my mind."

why are you blaming the dogs for attacking you? i'm not trying to blame them, but i also don't care about whether the dog or owner is at fault when a dog tries to cause me significant bodily harm. i'm going to avoid animals that continue to have a noticeable portion of their population i've personally met try to attack me, and i am well within my right to have my opinion of that animal sour because of said repeated attempts of harming me. respect that people are allowed to not like dogs.

but that's not fair to dogs! dogs trying to bite me while i'm minding my own business walking home isn't fair to me. anyone who cares more about the opinion someone has about dogs more than they care about the real physical safety of other human beings isn't worth talking to, quite frankly.
dogs are not better than people and are not worth more than people. i'm very done with entertaining the ridiculous backwards bullshit of far too many Dog People.

this game is officially a permanently banned topic for me, unless i've told you personally it's okay for you to talk about it to me, or you're showing me stuff about the characters i like. sorry.

i do tolerate people talking about it around me, this isn't me trying to police what people talk about when i'm present in any given place. i just don't want to be included in group conversations about it unless i specifically opt in myself, or have it brought up to me unprompted in 1-on-1 conversation.

in turn however, this doesn't mean i give people free reign to be rude about the game either. the moment someone takes ff14 being brought up as a topic to shit on other games, or sees someone casually talking about another game and uses the opportunity to insult that game and uplift ff14 (both things that are extremely common and i have witnessed countless times), i will immediately become hostile. i have seen this shitty behavior happen far too much to the point i have zero tolerance for it anymore, even when calling out the behavior ends conversations. please consider maybe actually living the """nice community""" claims i keep seeing peddled about this game, because my experiences with the community have only infrequently been what i would call "nice."

the point of saying this is not to say that nothing matters and nobody should try. it's fine to do things that make you feel better about the world and will have an individual or local impact, like say recycling. the vast majority of waste produced, including things that can be recycled, is produced by large corporations and even if every single individual person in the world recycled their personal waste to maximum efficiency it wouldn't even impact 10% of the total recyclable waste produced. even the global lockdown of COVID barely even affected global waste production. does this mean nobody should bother recycling? that's up to you to decide! maybe some people will decide it isn't worth it, but even for myself i'm personally bothered by not recycling everything i can, and that's okay. even one less piece of plastic in a landfill isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it's still one less piece of plastic in a landfill.

the point of this is to say: unless your personal worth is in the millions to billions, your actions alone as an individual are extremely miniscule so it is ridiculous to fight with other people who aren't millionaires or billionaires about the flawed way they travel through life; if you want large-scale change you need to implement large-scale collective action and organize to wield the same power the millionaires and billionaires have. also, big companies and rich people want you to think they're not the cause of nearly all the problems on this planet. as long as we're content to blame each other and fight over the crumbs under the table we'll never be motivated to fight for a seat at the table.

ultimately, i believe in harm reduction on both individual and large scale levels, and like to hope people generally do their best to reduce harm in the ways they can, though that always means there's some ways they simply can't. what i am objecting to and want people to stop doing is conflating the individual level of harm reduction with being the same as the large-scale, as well as the depressingly pervasive idea that bullying and harassing random strangers with no more money or power than anyone else is some kind of "activism."

but does this mean you consume Problematic Media?? i saw Problematic things in your interests and favorites lists!

yes. i have Problematic interests. and i can write you a novel myself on exactly what's wrong with everything i like. i also set my own boundaries on what i engage with and what i avoid, and make my own decisions. everything is "Problematic" in some way, and i have zero tolerance for people trying to pretend their boundaries are the only valid ones and should be the guidelines everyone else lives by under threat of violence, harassment, and doxxing for any deviance.

i don't generally care what other people like, so long as they don't tell me about things i don't want to hear about when i mention i can't tolerate hearing about some movie or game. be respectful, live and let live. i will generally leave you alone about the things you like if you leave me alone about mine.
and at the same time, i can and will tear a new asshole into anyone who thinks my interests are fair game to tear apart while theirs are flawless and godly. i don't care how bad you think mine are; yours aren't any better no matter what you tell yourself. anyone who truly thinks their interests are more flawless than mine are only showing their entire ass for how fake and hypocritical they are, hopping on the hate train with everyone else on things they don't care about while consciously turning a blind eye to the sins of their own beloved media interests. don't think i don't notice.

lastly, none of my responses here are about "shipping" or "proships"/"antis" or anything related to those topics; there's an entire section below this one for info related to that.

:)

i am pro-"foot-up-your-ass-for-making-me-hear-about-shipping-yet-again" and anti-"dealing-with-this-shipping-nonsense."

was that not clear enough? then let me elaborate:

i am neither a "pro-shipper" or "anti-shipper." i can't stand this fandom-first language and the centering of fucking fictional god damn characters in real issues that affect real people. stop talking about fucking shipping and start naming what you're actually trying to say using real words. are you talking about C.S.A. and the reprehensible depictions of such? then say that! are you talking about media censorship and the rise of puritanical fascism in the west via said media censorship? then say that! this fandom-first culture is beyond tiresome and only creates black-and-white us-vs-them mentalities where nobody names what they're really talking about, and the centering of this fandom shit puts fucking pointless fandom debates on the same level of severity as the actual physical violence people suffer. this is far beyond ridiculous to any even remotely reasonable person, and i am always absolutely incredulous every time i come across yet another person who expects me to take their online fandom slapfight as seriously as someone being assaulted in real life.

i am fed up with all of this and won't tolerate any of it anymore. if you can't interact with people without expecting them to choose a side in this shipping war brainrot then begone, nothing of value will be lost to me.

i know this may come as a surprise to basically everyone, but probably all the cat-face ones.

lmao

like a true bisexual i used both, but for different things :3 0.5 was nice for detailing hair and fur in drawings and also generally what i preferred for writing, but 0.7 was better for both softer lines and thicker lines.
also i had something all the real swag motherfuckers with mechanical pencils had: a set of colored leads for my pencils. (only in 0.5 though, never could find a 0.7 colored lead set...)

sadly these are things of the past for me, as i'm pretty much exclusively digital now in both writing and drawing and honestly prefer the power and precision of the machine for these things, but there will always be a soft spot in my heart for mechanical pencils and their various leads.